Paradox Lost
by Enhas
Summary: Time makes fools of us all, and things are often not what they seem..


Author's Note: I don't own Futurama or anything to do with it, and this is strictly a non-profit only thing.

This story takes place during **Bender's Big Score**, but with some big differences. There are obviously spoilers within, so don't read if you haven't seen the movie and don't want just about everything ruined..

* * *

Fry was hungry and depressed, which was never a good combination.

The toil of escaping backwards through time and narrowly avoiding being killed by his best friend had worn him out, along with the walking he had done for a little while through his old neighborhood. He had no money to pay for pizza or any other kind of food (at least not any that Mr. Panucci would accept), and had nowhere to go. As he stood in the alley to the left of Panucci's Pizza thinking about his life, he nearly broke down in tears over the recent turn of events his life had taken.

Lars. How he hated that man with every fiber of his being! In Fry's mind, he accomplished in mere weeks what he had been trying for years to do.. getting Leela to be his. He couldn't understand how or why it had happened, only that it did and he was left out like a third wheel. Nobody else seemed to care either, not a single one of his friends.. Bender might have cared slightly more if he hadn't been infected with a virus, but probably not.

The man that Leela had fallen for had something that Fry didn't (besides less hair), and it was painfully clear to him. No matter what he did to try and impress Leela, it wasn't enough. It was never enough.

_The opera, the candy heart, finding her parents, saving her from a space-bee.. what did I have to do to make her love me?_ Fry thought. _Though it's too late for it now, ever since Lars showed up. Well, all this thinking is making me even more hungry.. wait! I know where I can get free pizza!_

Fry reentered Applied Cryogenics, and after glancing around to make sure that no robots or otherwise were lurking in the shadows to kill him, he made his way into the main room with the pods. Earlier that night he had briefly opened his own out of curiosity to see if the tattoo was on his frozen self, as he wasn't sure where it had came from in the first place. It was there, and he found the whole experience of searching his ass to be rather disgusting. After stopping to look at his past self for a minute or two once more, he found what he was seeking for but it was cold and Fry spat the half-chewed slice out of his mouth.

"Leela's boots probably taste better than this crap! It'd be a lot better if it was warm.." he said to himself. What he decided to do next could have been interpreted as greed, but Fry had an odd feeling at that moment that wasn't just his stomach grumbling. He knew that using the TimeSphere was dangerous and not-advised in any case, but he didn't care.

Thus, Philip J. Fry became the first and only time-traveller to go back in time for pizza. Others may have exploited the TimeSphere for riches (as the nudist aliens did) or power, or to right past wrongs.. but Fry's motives were purely selfish, and he didn't know that what he was about to do was very important.

Fry had enough common sense to know that appearing at the same time as his past self could cause major problems. He had watched enough bad episodes of _Star Trek: Voyager_ to figure that one out. No, he had to be absolutely sure that he wouldn't be seen. The TimeSphere was then used again by him, for both the second and last time.

It led to mere moments after he had once been frozen, long ago in Fry's eyes. Nobody was around, so there wasn't any risk of being discovered. Fry sat down behind the desk and opened the pizza box, breathing in its warm aroma and taking a slice into his right hand. He stared at it for a few seconds, before shoving it into his mouth.

"Ahh, much better!" he said, feeling slightly refreshed. Fry ate two more pieces before he had enough, and as he slouched down a bit in his chair he felt something light hit against his right foot. Reaching down, he discovered that it was the remains of his six-pack which was still cold and brought a chill to his hand. What luck! He was also thirsty after most of the spices and chemicals from the pizza had scorched his mouth.

_They don't make pizza like this anymore! Now, if it only had anchovies.._

Fry rose from his seat with an unopened can in his right hand, and turned to face his own pod. He looked at his past self for what must have been the hundredth time that night, and for the first time he thought what his life would have been like if he had never been frozen. Probably nothing like the version he had once seen in the What-If Machine with Al Gore, but he couldn't be too sure. As much as he liked being in the future, Fry had missed out on a lot.

He hadn't noticed that he had been shaking the can as he thought, and when he opened it beer came gushing out like some kind of beer volcano. Most of it went on the floor or Fry's shirt, but enough was left inside to have a refreshing drink.

"Well, I'm not cleaning that up!" said Fry, quietly to himself with a chuckle. He continued to sip his drink and look at the occupants of the cryogenic chambers, wondering just why they had decided to freeze themselves. _I'll probably never know. Some were probably sick, and.. hey! I think this might be the boneitis guy! Anyway, most of them will probably be forgotten about and never see who loved them ever again.._

Thoughts of his brother and Seymour had come to mind, and though Fry was sure that both had moved on without him.. he would have given anything to see them at least one last time. As for his nephew, Fry couldn't ever think about him for very long before breaking down in sobs. He didn't care what it made him look like, because even though he'd never actually known his namesake he loved him and was very proud of all that he had accomplished in his life. From all the records that could be found (for he was very famous, being the first man on Mars), he had taken after his father Yancy in looks but after Fry in the way he often acted. Leela had been the one to understand the most of all that fateful day at Orbiting Meadows, after he had returned the clover to his nephew's grave and left. She helped him through it as only a true friend could.

_I wish you could help me now, but you're too busy with Lars to have any time for me._ he thought. He was now standing to the far right of the room in front of what seemed to be an empty pod, the second to last on the right. As he stared for a moment, he noticed what appeared to be a faint green light reflecting off the glass that grew rapidly outwards.

Fry turned around but wished he hadn't. A TimeSphere was there, and Bender stepped out of it. The very same Bender that had tried to kill him earlier who had only been stopped by being forced into a pod and frozen for a million years, before he could explode. Fortunately, his back was to Fry and he couldn't see him.. but it wouldn't remain that way for much longer!

_No! I took too long! Idiot!_ thought Fry. He was terrified, and dared not make a sound. Fry knew that Bender would turn around at any second, and to make things worse he expected another version of himself to show up at any time. He could not let himself be seen, and he had only one chance and hoped that Bender wouldn't notice. In a rush he turned around to the empty pod and thrust open the door, set the dial for one hour, and closed the door behind him as he jumped in. He covered most of his face with the top of his coat and sat down, putting his head between his knees. Before cryogenic sleep claimed Fry, he thought that he saw Bender's head turn slightly towards him. If he woke up an hour later, he'd know that his plan had worked. And if not, he wouldn't know anything anymore.

He later did thaw out, and he was nervous at first as he stretched his limbs and stepped out of the chamber. Fry thought that Bender might be hiding outside, ready to blast him as soon as he came out.. but he realized it made no sense. He looked around, and noticed that Bender was in fact frozen again for a million years. Nothing had changed.

Fry hoped to have another beer, but they were all gone. At that moment he didn't really care much about alcohol, but he was still thinking of the same thing that he did an hour ago. His family. He was back and could see them again, couldn't he? He didn't want to think of the 31st century, because all that it brought to him currently was pain. Fry couldn't understand why Leela didn't love his macaroni picture, or him. Instead, she loved some ugly bald guy with a weird voice who worked at the Head Museum.

He had decided to go back to Panucci's Pizza again, but not for the same reasons he had done previously. No, he wasn't hungry anymore but he needed a place to stay.. he was sure that Mr. Panucci would let him have that room if he asked nicely, and he wanted Seymour to be there with him. From what Fry remembered, the dog liked to stay outside most of the time but he wouldn't mind taking a bath in pizza sauce every now and then.

He wanted to cut his ties to the future and try to start over.

From that day forward, Philip J. Fry lived his life in what was once the past to him, but now his future. The pain was still there, but grew less as time went on.

* * *

Twelve long years passed for Fry, who was now back in New York for what he hoped would be a long break. His life wasn't exactly what he'd call ideal, but he accepted it many years ago. Having the opportunity to watch his nephew grow up and spend time with Seymour made it worth it. He figured that his dog had been well taken care of to have lived for fifteen years, but Fry never figured that it was because of _him_. 

_I guess time does make fools of us all. Heh, I said that to Morgan like.. eighteen years ago?_

Fry felt old, and also looked it. Had it really been that long ago? His whole time in the future seemed like a dream, and at times he wasn't sure that he wasn't just out of his mind and imagined it all. He retained one possession from that time, which he used to look at quite often but did less and less slowly over time until he didn't bother to anymore. It was an aged and slightly faded picture bent down the middle of Leela, and Lars. He remembered his brother Yancy finding it once and asking about it, but he lied and said it was just a joke picture done with a computer. Nobody would believe that he had lived in the future if he told them, and almost everyone thought he was already crazy enough for his affection to the narwhal he had been looking after for years.

Leeloo. Fry later thought the name to be ironic. It was Leeloo who brought him out of his depression (or at least made him forget about it for a while) and he cared for her as much or more than he did for most people.

She loved him too, but she needed to be free. Leeloo had made a life of her own with another narwhal and although it hurt him very much to do so, Fry had to let her go and move on. It was a painful lesson, but one that he needed to learn before he could have peace. For both Leeloo and Leela, Fry thought more of himself at the time and didn't realize until much later that he needed to listen to _their feelings_ as well.

He had been an idiot. It had taken twelve years for him to realize it, but he knew it. Fry was in his mid-forties and was disgusted at the way he used to act towards Leela, and he deserved everything he got. He still loved her and always would, but he understood why she went for someone like Lars. He didn't know the man very well, but he knew that he wasn't rich or very good-looking. It wasn't what was outside that truly counted.

Fry finally let Leela go as well. He hoped that she would be happy and that Lars wouldn't turn out to be another Chaz or Adlai. She deserved much better than the jerks she had been with over the years, including himself.

Outside of Panucci's Pizza (which was in very poor shape, the years having taken their toll), Fry neared his old companion Seymour. Yancy had been taking care of him for the long while he was gone, and he barked and was genuinely happy to see his master. Though not young, he was in great shape for being a fifteen year-old dog. Fifteen.

The word echoed in Fry's head as he stopped for a moment to pet him, before going inside. He knew that Seymour would die soon, and that there would be nothing that he could do about it. Dogs might live for over fifty years in the future, but not in the 21st century. He didn't want to think much about it, as he was hungry after his long voyage and wanted something to eat and drink.

He still missed Slurm.

Fry didn't know why, but as he rested for a few minutes he had the feeling that something was going to happen. Good or bad, he didn't know.. but the tension of waiting was never something that he could stand.

Nothing happened.

_Stop being so paranoid! It's not like.._

An explosion rocked Fry out of his thoughts, and fire blazed on and around him. His few meager possessions were being swallowed up in flames, and it wouldn't be long before everything was gone. Was this it? Was this how he was going to die? The smoke choked his lungs and he desperately tried to get rid of the fires on himself before he burned to death. Fry managed to put out the fires on his head and beard before he sank to the floor coughing, as the room continued to be engulfed. He would not die like this, he had to get out!

"My hair.. my larynx!" he cried, trying to pull himself to his feet. His throat hurt, but he'd live if he managed to escape quickly enough. As he glanced into the mirror in front of him, Fry saw the last person he expected to see. Indeed, he thought that the smoke was screwing with his mind to torture him in the last seconds of his life, but the reflection did not change.

"Lars?" he said, noticing that the voice coming out of his mouth was not his own. It was the same hoarse voice that he'd once despised. "I'm Lars? I'm Lars! Oh my god!"

Fry would have to think more about his situation later, or he would be dead and nothing would matter. He left everything behind and ran downstairs and out of the building, seconds before it exploded behind him. "I'm coming, Leela!"

He stopped running about a minute later and turned back to survey the carnage.. Panucci's Pizza was no more, and sadly he realized that Seymour must have been caught in the blast. But he would have time to mourn later, because Fry didn't feel anything else but pure joy even though he was staring at the burning wreckage that was his life for more than the past decade.

He knew what he wanted to do, what he had to do. He needed to go back to the future for Leela, and there was only one way in which he could do so. But he had plenty of time, and he couldn't just sneak into Applied Cryogenics in the middle of the day.

Fry didn't know how it was possible, or why.. but he didn't care. He thought it ironic that the person he had hated for a long time for stealing Leela away from him was actually _himself,_ and he laughed. Then the full impact of what everything meant finally hit him, and he fell to his knees and cried for a long time. He was Lars. He was Lars, and he was going to go back to the woman he loved. He pinched his left hand to make sure he wasn't dreaming, but screamed when he had picked at a burn that was still very fresh.

He took a few minutes to look at himself through the reflection of a shop window, and to test out his voice. People passing by must have thought that he was an insane bum, but he didn't care. As soon as night came, he would be gone from that time and never seen again.

Fry thought of his family, and he knew that they would suffer with knowledge of his "death". He had prepared a will several years before just in case something happened to him, and made sure that his nephew was given his clover. He would miss them dearly, but there was someone who he had waited a lifetime for. Somehow, the universe had given him this chance and he wasn't about to waste it.

That evening, he broke into Applied Cryogenics (he thought that they needed better security) and examined the pods. All were occupied. Apparently, cryogenic freezing must have increased in popularity and Fry didn't know what to do at first. Bender was still in one of them, and he didn't dare try to use that one. The others were all set for lengths of time either too long or short for the time that he needed to go to.

But he noticed something odd. One of the people frozen there was his ex-girlfriend, Michelle. He remembered that she had awoken in the year 3002, but the dial on her pod was clearly set to _254 years_. Something didn't add up, for she would wake up much earlier and be long dead by the 31st century.. until it clicked.

_It's because of me that she even ended up in the future in the first place! Take that, Michelle!_ he thought, and opened up her chamber. He reset her dial to _990 years_ and climbed up above her still form, out of sight. The familiar cryogenic sleep took him, and before he knew it his eyes were opening as he awoke from a long sleep. He could hear voices speaking below which were distorted at first, but gradually cleared up into familiar forms that Fry recognized: Bender, Michelle, and himself.

He couldn't let himself be seen, nor could he let them close the door to the cryogenic pod. It was the period of time when he and Bender had worked there briefly after losing their jobs at Planet Express, so he had to be careful. Luckily, the three had left the room which gave Fry just enough time to sneak away.

As he exited Applied Cryogenics and saw the once-familiar sights again, he took in a deep breath and exhaled. He was back, but not at the right time. He was over five years away from where he had left, and he wasn't sure what to do. He didn't know much about Lars's life, only that he was a "Head Technician".. but he remembered that _he_ was Lars and would have to create his own life from scratch.

_It's gonna take some getting used to, and I can wait another five years.. I've waited all my life for this!_

Philip J. Fry started his new life as Lars Fillmore and he'd probably keep that name for a long time, but when the time was right his real identity would be made known. At that moment, Fry ceased to exist as he spoke two words into a tube to take him to his destination.

"Head Museum."

* * *

The five years went by very quickly for Lars, as if only a few days had passed. He made new friends, including Dr. Cahill (or _Dr. Goodnsexy_ as he called her long ago) who turned out to be a very kind and smart woman despite her breathtaking looks. When Lars asked her why she wasn't married, she replied that she hadn't quite found the right man yet. She wanted someone who wasn't just after her body, and there weren't many men around who were like that. 

Lars told her that he loved someone, and he was waiting for her to "come back". They became good friends, but Lars knew that she liked him. If that had happened many years ago, he would have probably had a fling with her.. but no. Not now, since he was a one-woman man.

It pained him that he couldn't get in touch with his friends or Leela. He had only seen some of them in passing, usually at a distance.. or through the media. He had remembered the coverage that "_Leela, Orphan of the Stars_" had received, especially since it was a failure. Lars felt sorry for his past self, and especially what he would eventually put him through.

So it came to be that one day Hermes Conrad's head and body were brought in, and Lars knew that it was time. The game began again, only he was now playing from the other side and winning. Leela wasn't just a woman or something to be loved, but she was a friend. Lars realized that and treated her as such, instead of trying to impress her by often idiotic means. He noticed that Fry was very hurt, and he could do nothing about it. He remembered the own hurt he had once felt because of Lars but what he was experiencing had made up for it.

Everything was going the right way. It was perfect. He would never let Leela go, and soon he would tell her the truth about himself.

Some time later after Fry had fled to the past, he was standing at a vigil for him along with Leela and the rest of the Planet Express crew. Fry was "dead", and Bender was back to normal. He was shocked when he learned that it was Bender's fault that he had become who he was, but tried not to show it on his face. Lars didn't know until that time that the Bender that was trapped in the cryogenic pod wasn't the "real" one, or that he had been hunted for the whole twelve years he lived in the past.

It was time. He didn't have to keep up the charade any longer in front of everyone. Lars was just about to tell the truth once and for all, when someone showed up who should have _not_ been there.

Himself, or at least who he used to be. Philip J. Fry, in the flesh. Bender jumped into his arms and Lars almost laughed, but it really wasn't very funny. Something was very wrong, and nothing made sense to him.

He was withdrawn for a while after that. His plan was ruined.. how could he reveal himself to be Fry when there was another one around who was just as young and clueless as he had once been many years ago?

Lars really wished that he had paid more attention to the Professor and the Globetrotters about the TimeSphere. It was obvious that something must have happened in the past. He made absolutely sure not to see himself or create what they called "paradox-copies", but an awful thought filled his mind. What if _he_ was a paradox copy? It only made sense. Fry would not be there if he was the original. There was something very important that he couldn't remember, but it didn't come to him. He was too preoccupied with the upcoming wedding to Leela to think of anything or anyone else.

_Well, asking after being attacked by Robot Santa wasn't exactly the best time, but when would it be? I can't wait!_

It was a disaster. Hermes's body was killed by a falling chandelier, and Lars heard what he didn't want to hear: that he was doomed to die. All paradox-copies were, and he was only extremely lucky that he had lived as long as he did. Most others had only weeks at most, and he remembered that the other Nudar didn't last even a day. A _day_. He couldn't go through with the wedding for that reason, because he loved Leela too much to see her hurt. He had to let her go again, and for the final time.

Lars spent that night alone drinking, and crying. He didn't deserve this! Why did he even become Lars if he had to die a presumably horrible death? He wished that he'd just died in the fire that day, along with Seymour. He thought that time surely made a fool of him, bringing his hopes up only to dash them to pieces and leave him worse off than he ever was before.

He thought of the "real" Fry. Lars didn't hate him, and he hoped that he would look after Leela when he was gone. He knew that he would, because very deep down they were both the same person.

During the incident that involved the forced evacuation of Earth and a subsequent showdown with golden Death Stars, Lars almost hoped that he'd die in the battle. Something quick, and not overblown or humiliating. Leela didn't even want to look at him, because he had broken her heart like nobody else had done before. But she didn't understand! Lars had no reason to keep living anymore, not after everything was so cruelly given to him and taken away.

The war was won, and the nudist aliens and their weapons were destroyed. It was New Years Eve of 3007, which made it eight years since Fry first came to the future. Or twenty-five, in the case of Lars. He noticed that Fry was staring at him the entire trip back to Earth (for they were both in the same ship), but neither spoke to the other. Fry seemed to have a deep sadness in his eyes, but not one of jealousy. To Lars, it looked like the same feeling that someone would have when they're seeing someone about to die.. he knew. Somehow, Fry knew.

Celebrations that night were spectacular, and Lars did cheer up ever slightly. He sat alone, sipping at some drink that he couldn't remember the name of. Bender was being rewarded the "_Double-Cross_", and Leela and Fry were sitting together at a table further away. The latter approached him later to talk, but he didn't say much except for wanting to meet at Applied Cryogenics.

Lars was sure that he knew what Fry wanted to talk to him about, and agreed. However, he didn't expect to also meet Leela there. Fry wanted them to be together, because in his eyes it would be best for Leela. Lars was about to argue, until Nudar entered the room. He wanted the tattoo, and somehow he knew that Lars had it and took Leela hostage.

This was it. Lars knew that he'd die there, but he'd at least take out that disgusting alien with him and save Leela's life. He remembered the Bender-copy stuck on auto-destruct, and opened his pod. He grabbed him and Nudar and was ready to fall to the floor and trap them, but a scream stopped him before he was able.

"NO!"

Lars turned in the direction of the voice, only to be grabbed and pushed out of the way. He could see that Fry was now standing there holding both Bender and Nudar, preventing them from getting away. In a few seconds, Bender would explode.

"Get down!" said Fry. "Now!"

Leela grabbed Lars and they ducked behind a barrier just in time, before scattered metal parts and flesh filled the air. When it was over, Leela was the first one up and she screamed.

"Fry! Oh my god, no!"

She was kneeling down at his side, and Lars quickly joined her. Fry was lying on his back and bleeding heavily from his mouth and a wound on his chest, but was still alive for the moment. A piece of Bender's antenna was impaled through his left hand, and he was breathing very heavily. He knew that he wouldn't last much longer, but his eyes dotted around at the two people hovering over him.

"I.. I couldn't let you do it, Lars." he said. "You don't.."

"You know!" said Lars. "You know who I am, don't you! I'm supposed to die, not you! Fry.. I'm a paradox-copy, and that's why I couldn't go through with the wedding! I love Leela too much and I couldn't do that to her! But why did you go and do something like this?"

Fry gasped, and more blood flowed from his mouth. "No, you're wrong. I'd think.. I'd think that you'd be a bit smarter by now but I guess not. You've been wrong all this time, you jerk!"

"What?"

"Didn't you listen that day when I told.. the day I came back? I was frozen again, right after I went back to the past! After I froze Bender, I looked into my own pod to see if I had the tattoo and slipped on something sticky and fell in! That didn't happen to you, did it? I still don't get all of it, Lars.. but you're wrong!"

"What does he mean, Lars?" said Leela. "Fry, you've lost a lot of blood! Please, don't die on me!"

"He'll tell later.. Lars, I know who you are. I figured it out after the wedding, but somehow it's like I've always known. Kind of like in _Return of the Jedi_." said Fry, whose voice was getting weaker and more distant by the second. "And then I used the Professor's _Doom-Meter_ thing on myself, and.."

Fry didn't continue speaking, but he looked directly into Lars's eyes and smiled. Lars knew what he meant, what he had discovered and why he was so downcast. At first he thought it was because Fry knew that he was doomed, but Lars realized that it was the other way around. Fry was the paradox-copy, and not him. The _something sticky_ could only be the beer that he had spilled on the floor that night over a thousand years ago, and somehow it changed everything after he froze himself for an hour to hide from Bender. He didn't know how, but he knew that he was right. The poor, dying young man in front of him had sacrificed himself to save them.

"Take care of her, Lars."

"I will." said Lars, but Fry did not reply. Lars closed Fry's eyes using his right hand, and started to cry. Leela was beside him and openly let her tears flow as well. They embraced and spent what seemed to be hours on the floor next to Fry's body. Lars ran his fingers through her long violet hair and kissed her forehead.

"It'll be alright."

"He's dead, Lars! He was my best friend! I shouldn't have ignored him like I did these past few months! He's gone!" said Leela. "What was he talking about? You seem to know something that I don't!"

Lars didn't know the best way to answer her. There probably wasn't a best way. He would have to try and sum up the past seventeen years of his life in a few sentences, and he couldn't bear to look upon his dead twin anymore. He stood and brought Leela by the arm toward the window looking down on the city. The people and robots outside were still celebrating, unaware of the tragedy that had just taken place above. He turned to look squarely into her eye, and wiped a tear from its corner.

"Fry.. he's not gone, Leela. He's still here."

* * *

And that's it. I wanted to write a story where Lars lived at the end (and that the "real" Fry was Lars), and this is how it turned out. 


End file.
